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Internal Chaos

„In the end we’re left infinitely and utterly alone!”

There was something special about her garden tonight. The scattered light from the pillar standing in front of her iron gates; wonderful leaves – painted in bright autumn colours, which dressed the cold tarmac in a lovely cape; Her attention was drawn by all those tiny details and, surprisingly, everything matched her inner state.

 She melted within the silence and the coolness of the “what was soon to become” Night, embracing the darkness just as naturally as the clouds were absorbing the light.

The varnish of misguided feelings was waiting for a moment to break loose and give rise to an overwhelming avalanche! But she knew she couldn’t let that happen! It would have been a sign of weakness! She would have ended up being uncertain of her own strength! No internal battle would have defeated herself in this way, as she wasn’t the person to allow such thing to happen!

Regain herself from the chaos she was drowning in was the only viable option!

Heavy steps brought her in front of the door, while not even her high heels remembered how to make that unmistakable sound they used to. It was that precise sound, emphatic and strong, that always reminded her of the way in which she was supposed to be, of how she was supposed to act!

Dianne stopped for a few moments in front of her house, closed her eyes and deeply pulled the cold air into her lungs.

“She was chaos and beauty intertwined. A tornado of roses from divine.” (Shakieb Orgunwall)

Movement of colorful smoke

“Girls like her were born in a storm. They have lightning in their souls, thunder in their hearts and chaos in their bones.” (Nikita Gill)

Her thoughts escaped to another world that couldn’t be encompassed by her imagination. She gave them free rein to start a journey, without her indiscreet mind chasing them. A few seconds later, they were all back, but to her this was a much-needed moment! She needed to empty her mind of every tiny piece of thoughts she had and to refill herself with gratitude towards the people and the things she already had in her life. She was in search for greater things, but lost her path while rambling through everyday life!

She twisted the keys and the door reached the wall, unlocking an opulent but too cold house. As she accommodated her things in their well-established places, she opened the hall door. Her eyes sank into the depth of the room. There were nothing but shadows and a familiar feeling invaded her body:

It was as if she was looking into the shattered mirror of her soul!

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